Word Dissection 301

I think a lot about the meanings of words. Why we favor using some words over others, and what all isn't being said you when do say that word. It's something I like to do; I can almost call it a hobby.

Recently, I've been thinking about the word "should."

Should I go to this? What should I wear to this dinner? Maybe I should just call this off, etc. You get the idea.

We use the word so often that its meaning is pretty much skipped over now.

When I hear someone say the word "should", I interpret that as personal weakness.

Why?

When you ask "How should I act in so-and-so situation," sure, you may be just asking for advice, but it goes deeper than that. At some level, you're rationalizing the risk of failure, because you yourself are afraid of failure. It's a perfectly human thing to do. But too often, it's easy to get caught up in the game of "Maybe I should do that instead of that, then X will happen. Ugh, I can't decide", and you either end up doing something half-assed and half-hearted, or nothing at all out of fear. Then you feel bad about it afterwards.

Who holds the power behind the word "should", anyway? I imagine most people don't take that into consideration. Why do we make the decisions we make after we come to a "should" split? Are we doing it for ourselves? For a friend? So something will or won't happen? Because of the social consequences?

I really believe that we, as humans, don't focus enough in a single time frame. I talk to friends and they're freaking out about some test next week, or gushing over some dumb little mistake they made and how it's frustrating them right now. What about the present? It's the only thing you have real control over anyway. People just don't seem to think enough about, what am I doing RIGHT NOW, what am I feeling RIGHT NOW, etc. They're too focused on what's around the corner, or the footsteps they leave behind.

When you think, Should I blah blah blah, you're taking yourself out of the present, and into an imaginary future. As much as we WANT something to happen, it usually doesn't turn out exactly that way, and we know this! Yet, we pine and pain ourselves about it anyway, and repeatedly try to FORCE a given moment.

Usually, when people say the "S" word, it's like they're giving the power of the decision to an imaginary boardroom that scores them like a panel of Olympic judges. To them, it's like their life is being watched on some hideous reality TV channel, and the ratings go up or down based on what they do. If you've watched the movie "The Truman Show", then you probably know what I'm talking about.

Should you ask a girl to dance at a club or should you try to buy her a drink and chat her up first? Will she push you away or think it's cute?

Those people are either too inexperienced or immature to know the consequences, or at least do what they feel is right and deal with it. What's more disturbing, they seem to be CONTENT with the mundane and expected, rather than have the courage to try something new.

Bzzzt!!! WRONG!

Not only is this childish and inaccurate, it's done for the wrong reasons. I believe that people in general are better off if they do something, with confidence, because THEY WANT to. Not because their mom wanted them to do it, or because it'll look better on their resume. Imagine if you were stuck between a hoity-toity major you were expected to do but didn't like, and a major that was less "prestigious" but actually enjoyable. What would you do?

Is it like society WANTS you to do something anyway? No. Truthfully, in the end, most people either don't know or don't care. Do what you want to do.

Now, I'm not telling you to go and rape the next hot person you see outside, or go and steal an expensive car out on the street, just because you WANT to. The point is to shift away from the idea that you can't do something because of so-and-so obligations. If you want something, make it happen! The real question is whether or not you want it badly enough to face those possible risks.

Many of the greatest memories that I have happened because I disregarded imaginary consequences, and stuck to my guns. My first kiss, getting my football autographed by the UT football gods at the Hex Rally, some of the wildest nights of my life, and discovering who my best friends really were are some examples. I'm sure many people can relate.

The take-home lesson here: Keep the "S" word out of your life as much as possible. Fuck what society thinks. If you find you're asking yourself "Should I?", be aware of the possible consequences, then do it anyway. Don't settle for the expected. Keep your power, and live for yourself. You'll be a much better and more honest person if you do.